3 years ago on Easter (not on the 1st but still significant) my then one week old micro-preemie daughter acquired Necrotizing Enterocolitis. NEC is just a fancy way of saying that bad bacteria had overgrown in her gut and was trying to kill her. No parent wants to receive that phonecall from the NICU.
Obviously she is still with us but this day puts me in a shitty mood no matter what because all of those damn memories come flooding back. She nearly died the night of Easter and the next night after surgery. Those feelings, the medications going up, near coding, the blood transfusions, the hemorrhaging, the tears in the nurses eyes, the ventilator settings, the rain on the windows, my heart feeling like it was being shattered- it's all still there and this is the day it always pops up!
With that said, last night I went out and took photos of my miracle babe and every year I let go a little bit more. I'm so thankful for my daughter, my husband, some of my family, friends, art and photography for pulling me out of the scariest dark hole I had fallen into. So I celebrate Easter with a grateful heart. It's a reminder every year of what was and what could have been. We are so thankful for the fighting spirit of our sweet Eevi.